The darkness floats around him as thick as a blanket. He can hear her breathing in the distance – a silent whisper as steady as the pulse of a beating heart. The breathing seems to grow louder. In his mind he can see her crawling towards him, eyes ablaze – black hair like moss and leaves. When he tries to move, the pain comes back and with pain comes fear. Like a moth in a spiders web he is trapped, unable to hide.
Then there is a soft draft and a warm sensation on his left leg. He can feel goosebumps appearing and hair rising. In this moment he realizes, that he is naked. There is nothing between his skin and the darkness, nothing between him and her. The warmth on his leg intensifies and then he feels her lips.
They are dry and broken. He can feel the thin crust, where the blood has dried. But her lips are also soft and tender. She kisses him like a lover, lightly flicking her tongue. Although he is overwhelmed by fear, he notices an erection forming. Sweat appears on his forehead. Her lips begin to wander. Soon he feels them everywhere.
Trapped between fear and lust he moans, but there is no sound. His mouth is sealed tight. Was there a mouth to begin with? Her broken kisses wander over his body faster and faster. Her breathing is a growling now, deep and guttural. He feels her mouth tightening around his penis and again he moans silently, his heart racing. His body now is drenched in sweat. Her lips linger.
But instead of a sweet relief there suddenly is pain, stinging hot pain, that explodes in his loins. His silent moaning turns into a silent scream. He can no longer hear her breathe. Instead there is a wet crunching sound, but soon there is only pain.
Time has passed. For him it could have been seconds or years. He doesn’t care. In these undefined moments he has learned there is more to pain. There is a certain quality, a whole new world she has helped him to explore. There still is the crunching wet sound, but the pain in his loins is gone as is the pain in his legs. Now only his chest is hurting but he now loves the pain.
He has looked behind the curtain of it, for she has pulled it aside. He now knows, that with the pain comes relief, acceptance and love. He loves her so much and he knows she loves him too. Soon she will devour him fully and then they will be one. He cries but it is out of joy. He will never be alone, never be unloved and never be hungry, for it is his own self, that provides their first dinner.
He closes his eyes and counts the seconds.
He doesn’t have to count long.